


Genie In A Flask

by sandean_cas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angry Dean Winchester, Angst, Awesome Bobby Singer, BAMF Bobby Singer, Blue Eyes, Bobby Singer Deals With Idjits, Bobby Singer Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer is Dean Winchester's Parent, Bobby Singer is So Done, Bobby plays matchmaker, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Being Idiots, Castiel and Dean Winchester Falling in Love, Castiel and Dean Winchester Fight, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel is Not Okay (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Crack, Cracked Gems, Crazy Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean Winchester Needs Castiel, Dean Winchester Needs a Hug, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean Winchester is Not Amused, Dean Winchester is Not a Morning Person, Dean Winchester is Protective of Castiel, Dean Winchester is Saved, Eye Sex, Fluff, Genie - Freeform, Ghost Bobby Sees Eye-Sex And Helps, Ghost Bobby Singer, Humor, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Message in a bottle, Oblivious Castiel (Supernatural), Oblivious Castiel/Dean Winchester, Oblivious Dean Winchester, Oblivious Sam Winchester, POV Bobby Singer, Quote: Dude. On my car. He showed up naked covered in bees. (Supernatural), Rhyming, Rhyming Couplets, Sam Winchester is Not Amused, Sam Winchester is Scarred For Life, Sam Winchester is So Done, Season/Series 06, Season/Series 07, The Impala (Supernatural), Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Whump, crazy!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21774604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandean_cas/pseuds/sandean_cas
Summary: Wordlessly, Castiel drapes the blanket over Dean’s shoulders, smiling gently, and patting his shoulder. He’d have better luck with a giant, wet boulder.“Warmth is a necessity.” The angel chastises. This isn’t ending well, is what Bobby surmises.“You didn’t seem to think much about warmth when I found you on Baby, naked except for that blanket of bees. FYI they didn’t give you all that much coverage, if you know what I mean."“Dean.” He says brightly, “Did you know that looking at someone’s genitals is a common sign of romantic interest or infatuation.” How the hell is Bobby in this situation?“Dean!” protests the angel, as Dean lays down. Bobby leans against the table. Oh this is going to be good, he thinks, if by good you mean bad – where everyone will suffer. “You haven’t eaten dinner yet. If you go to bed hungry you stomach will produce extra acid and you can get a stomach ulcer.”“Well Cass.” Dean bites out… drily… mockingly, “That’s what a have you for. The angel of no conflict and stomach advice.” If only that insult is were enough to suffice.ORBobby, while tethered to the flask, vows to make these to idjits drop their stoic masks.
Relationships: Bobby Singer & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 20
Kudos: 148





	1. Flask As A Mask

“Look at me you idjits!” Bobby screams. He focuses with all his might but Sam, Dean and Mr Angel are still lost in their little conversations. Ah well, so much for his heart palpitations.

Sam soon leaves in a huff and Dean sits with his head bowed in his hands, more stressed than anyone so young should be. But Dean had been thirty for many years… since he was four old. That’s bound to take its toll.

Dean’s angel stands off to the side fiddling with the tassels on the curtains but with his eyes trained solely on Dean. After a few minutes of quiet contemplation he stands silently and takes off the cursed trench-coat that literally sags off of his thin frame. You’d think an angel could at least find proper clothes and not look like he crawled out of a drain.

Now, thinking of it, Bobby can’t understand why he’d take the thing off in the first place. Actually, he doesn’t understand why the angel is even here when Dean doesn’t even try to hide his distaste. Dean had been pissed to hell about the whole ‘becoming God’ phase. Nearly cried about it over his sandwich too.. nope that’s a mistake no one can erase. Sure, he’d patched things up with Sam but he never expected to find the angel and Dean within more than two hundred feet of each other ever again.

Wordlessly, Castiel drapes the blanket over Dean’s shoulders, smiling gently, and patting his shoulder. He’d have better luck with a giant, wet boulder.

“Warmth is a necessity Dean.” The angel chastises. This isn’t ending well, is what Bobby surmises.

Dean just scoffs, but tugs the coat to cover his shoulders. “You didn’t seem to think much about warmth when I found you on Baby, naked except for that blanket of bees. FYI they didn’t give you all that much coverage, if you know what I mean.”

“Dean.” He says brightly, “Did you know that looking at someone’s genitals is a common sign of romantic interest or infatuation.” How the hell is Bobby in this situation?

“Not when the person is naked on purpose Cass, not then.” Dean rebukes.

Bobby knows nothing of the sort. Maybe it was a fluke?

Looking is looking, purposeful or not. He’s half sure that the angel is exaggerating anyways. From what he’s seen, the poor bastard is half out of his mind, most days.

“Alright. I’m really tired Cass.” Dean stands, unknowingly holding the coat around his shoulders, “You know me. I need my four hours.”

“Dean!” protests the angel. Bobby leans against the table. Oh this is going to be _good_ , he thinks, if by good you mean bad – where everyone will suffer. “You haven’t eaten dinner yet. If you go to bed hungry you stomach will produce extra acid and you can get a stomach ulcer.”

“Well Cass.” Dean bites out… drily… mockingly, “That’s what a have you for. The angel of no conflict and stomach advice.” If only that insult were enough to suffice.


	2. Infectious Lettuce

“I’m glad we agree Dean.” Oh good Lord, Bobby thinks, can’t he tell that something in here stinks? Poor fella’s fallen so far off his rocker that he may have well just plummeted into hell. Huh, maybe that’s not a bad idea, maybe something down under will ring a bell?

“You idjit.” He mutters. Dean, as usual, can’t hear or see him. All he does is clutch that damn flask and fidget.”

“Woah!” Dean stumbles back as Castiel disappears in a whoosh. Blinking a few times to steady himself Dean settles onto the couch, throwing the coat, like a blanket, over himself. Not fifteen minutes later, just as poor Dean is starting to nod off, a gust of wind scatters the clippings around him.

Castiel stands there with the most contrite look on his angelic face. “I thought we had an agreement.”

“So did I.” Dean mumbles.

“Here.” Offers the angel, sticking out his hand. In it, is a plate with bread and some kind of meat. “Dinner.” He smiles proudly. “I made it myself. I even added some lettuce.” Dean shoots him the stink eye, which he seems utterly oblivious to.

“Just what I need.” He snips, “Lettuce.” Dean bites angrily into the sandwich, his eyes going wide. Apparently that sucker makes one mean sandwich. A raised brow and a moan from Dean Winchester, apparently, Castiel the sandwich maker is no jester.

“I don’t like being on bad terms with you Dean.” Castiel confides, lowering his voice as though telling a secret. For the first time, Bobby doesn’t think he’s a complete lunatic.

“Yeah, I don’t like cleaning up messes that aren’t mine.” He throws his hands up, “But here I am. Me and my lettuce. It’s not like an all-powerful angel would be any use whatsoever with this green, frilly, rabbit food around.”

And Bobby was right: things _are_ about to get interesting and he’s got front row seats, fit with panoramic sound.


	3. A Genie For The Weenies

Yup. Interesting. That’s what he said. Only four hours later, he’s still watching Dean in bed.

Or rather, watching the angel watch Dean.

Bobby can’t help but notice his rapt attention. If he could, he’d all but stage an intervention.

“I’ll watch over you.” was his creepy promise. Now hours later Bobby’s mind is pretty disjointed.

Castiel watches unblinkingly, unmoving, completely dedicated to his task. Bobby finds him staring at the plate… the completely empty plate. Barely a crumb had remained and that made Castiel light up once again.

Dean stirs and Castiel scrambles into action. Bobby hears the words of ‘Hey Jude’ and Dean’s cries dim just a fraction. By the time the last verse is sung, three people stare aghast, all at each other, all harassed. Bobby goes unseen once more, Heaven and Hell hold their breath as Bobby sees the angel fall.

Maybe he’d fallen long ago. Bobby certainly thinks so. Or maybe it was right that second, who the hell knows, he’s just standing here guessin’. But in that moment, all insanity is washed away, the love on his face shining as clear as day. To all except Dean of course, Dean who shows Castiel no remorse. He rips into the angel’s thin armour savagely and Castiel just stands there blinking mechanically.

Suddenly, he can take no more; Bobby stomps his foot on the floor.

A series of strange things happen then, Castiel shrieks with fright, falling… pinning Dean to the couch, much to Bobby’s delight.

That’s when he figures out what he is to them… not a vengeful spirit, but a gift to these good men.

He’ll be a genie… a genie in their flask and he’ll show them how to do what they’re too stupid to ask.


	4. Little Things

It’s harder than he expected, to convince these love birds to get reconnected. His main problem is his ghostly visage, it’s hard to play match maker when he can’t even open the fridge.

Having fly boy over there bring Dean some pie had been too easy to fly. If only something would snap him out of his quiet contemplation. Can’t he see that what Dean wants is to fight for him – though he won’t make that particular admission.

Bobby sighs, well as much as a ghost can sigh. Who knew genies had to do work. He never considered that among all the other perks.

A plan is what he needs. Something dramatic and romantic to snap them out of their stupid trances. Dean needs to fess up about what he wants, Castiel needs to stop hiding from hunts.

But more than that, they need a wake up call. Something loud and raucous that will make them realise that they’re in love, once and for all.

But what kind of thing could garner such a reaction. And how would it work, given that Bobby has no traction?

He’s never been one for romance. Should he just convince then to dance? Or perhaps, to go to France? The city of love must have some sort of impact… or maybe he should just bring them a marriage contract?

But’s always been the little things … like a rose or buying diamond rings.

Bobby likes the sound of that.


	5. Diamond Rings and Church Bell Dings

The hints he leaves are not even subtle, which leaves him convinced that Dean and Cass live in a bubble.

How does he snap an angel out of insanity… and convince him to love humanity?

He’s tried a variety of things by now: movies in the path, picture of crop circles and the ever faithful nudge at Dean being well endowed.

That last one hadn’t been easy, Bobby can tell you that. It’s a funny story now that he mentions it. It had given him a pretty good laugh to watch Castiel fall, splat!

Directly into Dean’s crotch, he thought that that was a plan no one could botch.

Rookie mistake.

Dean had shoves his head faster than he would a snake.

There’s one last move. One last ploy for him to try. Maybe diamond rings aren’t their thing.

He hadn’t want to stoop so low, but these two idiots need to get their ducks in a row.

He’s decided that Cass needs to be the one to make the first move, Dean, after all, has no groove.

The first step is the TV and of course, convincing Dean not to flee.

It occurs to him that Sam must be in on his plan, because he threatens holy fire and stabbing. So as Dean and Cass slouch on opposite ends of the couch, Bobby does what ghosts do best: cause electrical disturbances… that just happens to change the channel to ‘slow dances’.

Cass takes the bait and bounds to his feet. “Dean, may I have this dance?” he croons in a voice so sweet.

Dean rolls his eyes, but after some pushing and tugging from Cass, you bet he complies.

Bobby takes their place on the couch and watches them sway. Heck, how did they not realise that they’re gay?


	6. Idjits! Leave The Damn Flask In The Car Before You Start Going At It

They sway from side to side, lost in a trance that otherwise, neither would abide.

It’s sweet in the most perfect of ways, after all his hard work, they better be dancing for days. In their own private world, Dean gives Castiel a twirl, bending him low and pecking him to let him know. To know what exactly, Bobby can only guess; their love is what they need to confess.

When they song stops they both remain still, until they’re not and Dean is kissing Castiel with superior skill. It’s like he’s given up every inhibition; like he’s found his life’s real mission. A man brought to contrition by years of inaction only to have it all come to fruition.

Bobby feels the tone shift when Castiel kisses him back, then begins the real attack. It’s a fight to get even closer, love finally ploughing through their insecurity like a friggin’ bulldozer. He sees hands grabbing and fingers nabbing, clutching at clothes before they both topple onto the bed like a couple of dominoes.

Bobby feels the passion escalate; all he wanted was for them to go in a goshdarned date. Not screw in the room while he’s still in it; well, they’ve always been idgits.

“Leave the damn flask in the car before you start copulating, I’ve done so much for you fools, the least you could do is be more accommodating!” But his words are lost in the vale, screamed over and over, to no avail.

Bobby sees things that should never have to be seen, all because Cass _likes_ friggin’ Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that this strange fic is through,  
> I wish you all adieu!


End file.
